Perhaps it was so that a part of Col’s life remained in my memories of her and perhaps I was keeping my promise to her. I had no-one I could talk with about the darkness that washed at the shores of my mind, so I would lie on my bed and converse silently with Col’s portrait, which sometimes helped but at others the accusation became too hard to bear and I turned its face to the wall.Nothing had come from our attempts to involve Mrs Wisniewski and that option was now for ever closed. After Christmas, rather naively, I tried writing to MI6 in the hope I could find out what had happened to Col and Mutti Frida, perhaps speak to Mr. Watling, but after several unanswered attempts I gave up.My established habit of reading the newspaper continued – but now in the school library where I went through the Times before morning assembly. In the background, the race to the moon was heating up and I followed the press coverage, ticking off events as they coincided with my memories from my previous. Meri maa ka mujhse baaten karne ka nazeriya hi badal gaya tha .mein bahoot khush tha. Ab mein aur meri maa khulkar batein karte the meri maa mujhse apne whispar (kotex,stayfree, pad) mangvaya karti thi. Ghar main main or mummy akailay they. Mummy ko nahana tha to mummy nae mujhay aawaz dee kaha mujhay Bathroom tak chor aa main mummy ko bathroom apnay kandhar per chor aaya Mummy ne door lock kar diya ,thori dair baad mummy nain aawaz di beta garam pani nahi hay to pani Garam ley aa meri kamar main dard hay,main utha aur Pani le kar bathroom kay pass phoncha darwaza khatkhatay or kaha mummy Pani le aya hoo Mummy ne kaha beta ander lay aa meray hath main bhee bahut dard hai Main pani le kar ander gaya to shoke ho meri mummy sirf bra Mae thee uff main nain apni nazrain ghuma lee main bahir janey laga to mummy ne aawaz di beta idhar aa, main pareshan ho gaya mummy ne Kaha beta meri bra khol de mera hath nahi mur raha main pareshan tha.mummy Boli beta kya hua jaldi karo Mere hath kanp.
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